Day: August 12, 2009

A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place

Dolly Parton has tits.

This is true.

Texas, has a whorehouse in it. Lord of mercy on our souls. I’ll expose the facts although it fills me with disgust…
No, actually just the opposite.
It came out a good five years before I was born, but still one of the dirtiest movies I’ve ever seen. And what’s this? Dolly actually looks human? gasp!

The movie, like Ms. Mona’s girls; dirty with plenty of class.
It’d be great to take another trip to Ms. Mona’s. The musical is a dead art form.

We all know “World War 2”. It’s like… the only interesting war ever. So many video games and movies made off it. It’s good to see a breath of fresh air every now and then. This time, it’s brought to you by Kathryn Bigelow‘s “The Hurt Locker”.

In Iraq, a U.S. Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) unit is forced to play a dangerous game of cat and mouse in the chaos of war in a city where everyone is a potential enemy and every object could be a deadly bomb. Jeremy Renner plays the leader of the EOD team, as he contends with not only defusing bombs in the backdrop of a war, but also the psychological and emotional strain that it inflicts.

Looking at the cast. There’s no one that really jumps out at you. But the lack of star power works it the film’s advantage. Creating realistic characters that are so damn real you’ll forget you’re watching a fictional movie. The handheld shots make it feel all the more real.

It’s quite an experience, and you won’t be bored for a second. A front runner 4 best picture


It's a Hard Life Out There for a Cinefile

There are two kinds of moviegoers.

Those who watch movies.

And those who come to observe and learn about the movies. While having a fucking blast.

Obviously I’m the later. Going regularly, shirking my chores around the house to catch a Friday matinee. I would frequently find myself surround by other cinefiles, notepads out, taking notes and just observing everything that’s going on. From the laughter of the audience, to things most people may not notice in the background.  Afterwards, we would sometimes talk about it a little and grab a milkshake over at the local Portillos (local Chicago burger place, really good shit).

But gone are those days, and in comes the “More Explosions the Better” Generation of moviegoers. Those who would rather watch a bunch of people jump out of an exploding plane towards a fiery river full of naked strippers fucking polar bears with rocket launchers attached to their backs.

These type of filmgoers can also never really finish a thought… or really explain their unfinished thought.

I will now charm you with some excripts from some local forums where I have ingauged in any sort of  film discussion.

I made a long, ranting post on how fucking awful Transformers 2 was, and this is what I got….

“Just came from a special screening…it was awesome…go see it…
i want to do crazy things to Megan Fox. that is all.”


“Awesome Movie just got back from the midnight screening!
Megan is a Fox”


“I would totally fuck Megan Fox”

or my favorite

“You are thinking way too much into this”
I’m sorry if I want my movies to be SOMEWHAT thought provoking. Look at even… oh… “Star Wars”. It’s full of action and explosions. But it’s also full of deeper themes of heroism, sacrifice, and friendship. Yeah, I know it’s just “Star Wars”, but it’s surprisingly deep.
Every now and then… recently. There’s a movie that comes out, completely under the radar or not that blows you away mentaly. But they’re commonly overlooked at the theares for one reason or another. But usually the Acadamy gives films like that their props. Here’s hoping for “The Hurt Locker” this year.
That brings me to my next point. The Oscars.
It’s now being bastardised for ratings because the average smuck doesn’t care about things like Sound Mixing and Cinematography. This is like the Super Bowl to us Cinefiles. I sit there with my friends, and our predictions. It’s a really great night to love moves.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, bastardization.
The “Best Picture” catagory is being expanded to 10 films this year. Mostly because of people whining that “The Dark Knight” didn’t get nominated.
Okay, a lot of people will hate me for saying this… but NEWS FLASH.


The performances were great… but I’m sorry, Christian FAIL has not, will not, and will never be a decent actor. The movie was well shot and had a decent soundtrack. But that’s really the extent of it. Heath Ledger (gods have mercy on his soul) was totally amazing. But HE was amazing. No one else.  And the story was nothing new. It’s Batman, it’s older then my Grandma. Not a knock to Chris Nolan, but he needs to deep the franchise now while the getting is good.

Hopefully, the Oscars won’t be sponsered by “Amp: Energy Drink” this year too.

As you can see, it’s hard loving film the way I do. But it’s a good life. You learn a whole lot from every movie you watch. The camerawork, the sound, and acting, and direction. It’s fun to watch it all just come together in an orgy of smiles for the audience.

And if you liked Transformers 2, you’re retarded. That’s all.