That’s my whole first paragraph taken care of right there. 2000’s installment of the beautiful magazine/comic book/boob rag features everything you love.

Sexual humor, excessive violence, outer space, boobs.

But underneath all the boobs, there’s quite a bit going on story wise.

A planet is wiped out and it’s up to it’s last survivor to take revenge on a possessed man.

Most of it is beautifully hand drawn in the big boobed Heavy Metal fashion with some surprisingly good physics. It dosen’t get boring for a second, except for a moment during the final battle which I won’t spoil for you. But lets just say it’s too long.

You really feel sorry for the movie’s villain halfway through, he keep trying to get layed but is constantly interrupted. Whether it’s general cockblocking, being shot, or being stabbed.

Adult Animation is really the wave of the future, the kids have grown up… but not quite. Movies like this remind us of the beauty of cartoons, while praying on our more primal desires. There’s another Heavy Metal movie set for release next year, we can only hope it’s just as sweet.

A-

Shakesphere. You can never go wrong.

If you don’t know the plot. Wiki it. It’s really confusing. Just look at the poster. This work transcends are genres by constantly jumping from one to another.

Sure it must have worked better on stage, but with an ensemble like Kenneth Branagh,  Michael Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Denzel Washington and Emma motherfucking Thompson… you can’t go wrong at all. You also gotta love Reeves with an English accent.

For the longest, I didn’t even know this movie exsisted. But it has like… every good actor ever in it.

I’ll say this right now, I am not a Denzel Washington fan… in the least. And this doesn’t change my mind. The few scenes he’s in, he just looks and seems to feel out of place… being the only black dude in the movie can do that to you I suppose.

All and all, it’s the same hilarious, sexy fun that only the Bard can deliver. And if anything is worth your time, Emma Thompson’s performance is.

B+