Flashback ninja is full of fail.

I‘ve been catching a lot of flack for this lately… but I really didn’t like Ninja Assassin.  Much as I enjoyed Rain in Speed Racer, I don’t think his awesome pecs and physical ability could really drive a movie for ninety minutes. But apparently the Wachowskis know better then I do.

Well… where to start? Ninja Assassin begins with that dude from Tokyo Drift and his goons getting all decapitated and shit by our ninja protagonist. It seems all good right now… but then… we go to a flashback. Then to 2 on the DULLEST cops I have ever seen in the movie. One of which becomes to female love interest of Rain… which was never really built upon.

The rest of the movie consists of a series of action scenes tied together by clunky, awkward dialouge… and a ridiculous ninja chase on the freeway. All coming to a dumb conclusion of Modern Warfare Vs. Ninja Gaiden. Beyond pathetic. Even for the creators of the Matrix sequels.

Before you get into all those “You’re looking too much into it” bullshit thoughts… I paid 10 bucks to see this shit. I’m expected a beginning… middle… and end. Not a jumbled mess of flashbacks and failed attempts at Johnny Tran being a ninja. Also, how about some CG from this decade? I don’t think I’m asking for much here.

The movie delivers on the action front very will. Rain is showing he can really be a decent action star. He just needs to find a decent movie to be in first.

C-

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