On Writing

Writers. Hear me for a second.

Why do we do what we do? It’s a difficult question. Really I feel that there are 4 types of writers
That Dude Who Thinks Way to Highly of Themselves
This is the person you normally find at writers groups with the douchey barrette or some shit, and talks about the latest seminar or something they were at. First of all, no one cares… because they weren’t there. Secondly, that does not make you more qualified of a writer then anybody else.
This person also feels the need to talk down to other people.
Protip: Don’t fucking do it.
It’s people like this who make me despise writing groups. Writing is not a fucking party. It’s a personal quest for transcendence.

The Moneyhungry Asswipe
These are the people with the blogs or the websites that make people pay them to tell you how to write. But I must say, there ARE some class acts out there who WILL teach you the ropes about writing without telling you how to do it. But I can’t even count those people on one hand.
NO, I do NOT want to make some sort of fucking blog to make 2 bucks a day. If you do, you become “That Guy with the Blog”. Writing things that no one cares about and tends to skip past on twitter.

The Bored Housewife
This is exactly like I sounds
“Hi honey, what’s for dinner?”
“A Roast.”
“You are such a good wife. But you should do something to occupy your time while the kids are at school.”
“But honey, what can I do?’
So she rights. Tends to be the uppity, too Christian for their own good and easily offended. Sorry, should we give you water wings for your pool of tears? Either grow the fuck up or get the fuck outa my face.

The Soul Crushing, Staving Soul Writer.
I can include myself in this group. This is an actually respectable group. People who don’t give a shit, aren’t afraid of anybody or anything and just want to get their shit out there and change some minds and hearts… even if it kills them. Quite literally. Writing is serious business. We act like it. We don’t care if we get money (though we LOVE money) if our stuff just gets read. This group is also a big fan of “Real Talk”… which I’m doing right now.

Okay, now that I have that little rant out of the way, I can get to my real point.

What does it take to create something great?

As I recently learned, you just need to get out there and fucking do it. Like what I’m doing with “The Creative Process”. I got a lot of flack for my latest trailer of me naked in a bathtub. I actually found it liberating… can you say enlightening. I got a newfound confidence. Even though editing one’s own dick is a trial all it’s own.
I see far too many people planning these stories and these characters… just write the fucking thing. Don’t think about it so damn much. Do that shit.

Also, break down your mental barriers. The things to tell you not to do this. Your morals. Have you characters fuck some horses in a gay bar. Experiment! Have fun!

Frankly, some people just weren’t meant to write. If you cry when someone criticizes you… you’re in the wrong fucking business BRO. And some people just suck at writing, it’s just not their thing.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting inspired.
Try different ways of finding inspiration. Fuck your significant other. Fuck you significant others mentally disabled friend, rape your cousin… But seriously, inspiration has no schedule. Go outside and walk, or turn off the radio during your commute and just think. Or meditate if you like that. I’ve found that smoking weed a bit helps the creative juices… at least I did. I gotta afford some pot.
Inspiration isn’t just gonna hit you like a bag of… heavy shit. You gotta work at it. If it doesn’t come one day you gotta just keep at it.

In conclusion. Explore your possibilities. Test your limits. It may be hard. It may be scary. But that’s part of the fun.

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