TRAUMA PACCCCCCCCKKKKK: My thoughts on Avatar

I really liked Dances With Wolves. It provided some excellent commentaries on social acceptance… and let’s just face it, native Americans are just badass. Who wouldn’t want to watch a movie about a race of people you wouldn’t know about otherwise.

I also really liked Fern Gully. My stepmom took me to see it when I was a young one. It gave a positive message about protecting the rainforest and recycling and shit… but did it in a fun way.

2009… AVATAR!

First of all, I have NOTHING against James Cameron. I loved the (first two) Terminator Films… and besically everything he’s done except for Titanic… that was overrated.

I went into Avatar expecting to be blown away, cuz Cameron said so. To my disappointment, that’s not what I saw. What I saw was… well let me put it this way.

You know those Christmas presents you get that suck, and you wrap them again and give them to other people the next year? Yeah, that’s Avatar. Same shit, different wrapping… very shiny, pretty wrapping.

The story is literally Pocahanis from start to finish. Go read a book, I’m right.

When the movie was over, I was treated so same of the most beatuful CG I’vev seen outside a Final Fantasy game. I But I hated it.

We have one-dimensional Hollywood CG characters in 3-D, enacting the same bullshit cheesified glorifications: of the war machine, of native spirituality, of interspecial sex-intrigue as way of imperialist redemption. Fuck. There is no redemption, other than just stopping the land-rape and exploitation on this planet. Making a half-billion dollar movie and a line of plastic toys to promote the message is the next step in the (now inevitable) down-hill trek into Idiocracy.

Then the fans came.

I totally mean this. Avatar fans and Twilight fans are locked in bloody war to see who can be the most brainless and retarded. You go up to any of them and ask them, whether they be painted blue or jacking it to pictures of Jacob Black, and ask them why they think their movie is so great.

I have yet to hear an intelegent answer.

And oh my God did I get an earfull from a lot of people on Oscar night after Avatar totally bombed at the Oscars. Not surprisingly, all those stupid people have never seen “The Hurt Locker”… but were talking about how it “looks boring”

I think that’s all I have to say about that shit. Avatar fans, shut up. You’re gonna forgot this movie in a few months anyway when the next big flashy thing comes out.

But what do I know about movies right?

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