My Machete is a little dull…

Ever since I wanted “Grindhouse” 3 and a half years ago, I’ve been wondering… “When the hell are they gonna make that Machete movie?” 3 years and many many many delays later, it finally came out. I went to a 9:50PM showing with a couple of friends. After laughing at some horrible trailers (except “Let Me In”, it might be a decent remake.) it was time watch the blood fly. This happened in the prologe. Everything that a Grindhouse film was. Blood, cussing, uncensered sexualy, and horrible acting.

After the really long begin credits ran, that’s when things became unraveled. What I saw was nothing more than a direct to DVD action film. It wasn’t that bloody, any and all sex was cut away from… and no Lindsy Lohan nipples. That was gonna be in the highlight of the night.

Then we drag in all the political mess. I think it would have been a lot more fun if he were just some regular ol’ day laborer who turned out to be an awesome killer. But I guess Rodriguez felt like we needed a logical reason behind all the mayhem. But I couldn’t help be feel like I was being preached to about the immigration debate.

After I got home, I of course posted on facebook about my lackluster experince. Don’t get me wrong. I had a great time at the movies with friends which was what I wanted. But as a film person, I wanted Rodriquez to go WAY over the top, and it just felt forced and lazy throughout the whole movie.

This was in no way a terrible movie.

But of course, while I’m tired and trying to go to bed I have to write half and goddamn novel for people explaining my stance and totally wasting my time with people who only want to half argue.

(00:33:35) Them: your taste sucks X(
(00:33:46) Me:  Never said it was bad
(00:33:54) Them: i don’t even know how it was disappointing!
(00:33:58) Them: it was everything i wanted and more.
(00:34:07) Them:  the fuck were you expecting :~D
(00:35:02) Me: k If Rodriguez was making another 70’s Grindhouse type film it’s gonna need some things…
(00:35:50)Me: 1. Violence. There were too many large empty spots with no violence
(00:36:39) Me: That style is all about EXPLOITATION. And there was no exploiting. I was trying to figure out the actual tone for the movie, but I could never figure it out.
(00:39:15) Me: 2. Sex, there wasn’t enough. The movie fails as the exploitation piece is was meant to be.
But I’m clearly an idiot and have no idea what I’m talking about. But if you’re expecting something on par with what you saw in Grindhouse, you’re not getting anything close to that. But you do get the twins. They’re hot as ever.

C+

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