Month: October 2010

Granny Dollars? How bout Tree-Fitty?

I’ve spoken at length about Nasty Old People twice even. Wait, three times.

I feel like I'm high right now.

Anyway, Hanna Sköld and the rest of those bad-asses at Tangram Film have a new  multi-platform project, Granny’s Dancing on the Table. An odd name, but there’s nothing pedestrian and a lot odd here.

Here’s the synopsis from the ever-so fancy item known as a Facebook page.

Her name is Eini. Eini grows up isolated in the deep Swedish forests, and during her isolation she has developed a special kind of sensitivity and a very secret gift; the power to predict earthquakes. Now there are forces who wants’ to find her to prevent a catastrophe.

But Eini´s ability is both a gift and a curse; she’s aware of everything that goes on around her, but at the same time she’s totally unaware of her own feelings. To find true relations, Eini has to learn to let go of control, and discover her own vulnerability.

But day by day, the catastrophe comes closer. Maybe it’s time for you and me to do something…
Okay, I think we can safely say you haven’t seen anything like that before. But it gets better. If you hit the facebook page, you’ll see many philosophical questions being asked and most of them answered. This is part of the filmmaking process. It’s going to mold the script as it gets closer to completion.

But oh, it gets even better. But I don’t wanna fuck up explaining it so I’ll just show you the Power to the Pixel winning presentation.

Here it is if the embedded video below is being a jerk.

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Now class, that’s how you make a presentation your bitch. It’s not exactly going to be JUST a movie, but will be spread around various media platforms. Games being one of them.

Speaking of which, I know I’m not the only one who smiled at the very mention of Heavy Rain. I don’t think I’ve heard those words come out of ANYONE’S mouth since that game came out. The idea of controlling the story through simple actions  (like Mass Effect, or Fallout) is only once piece of the puzzle.

I’d go on explaining… but I think I’ve fucked it up enough for one night. It’s midnight and I’m tired.

But I do like what I see.

And I’m a guy who doesn’t like a lot of things. But whenever I see something I know I’ll love, I support the living fuck out of it. Simple as that. Support these fine guys and gals. Their shit don’t stink. It’s like a newborn baby’s poop… okay, it’s too late for metaphors.

Good luck to the whole Granny team. I’ll be looking for those Granny dollars.


Tron Night: I Have Been Derezed

After a night of dealing with White Castle that I ate, I serious felt I’d been Derezed. Form 1AM to 6AM I couldn’t sleep a damn wink. But this didn’t ruin my entire existence. I was treated along with many others to 23 minutes of Tron Legacy.

If any of you went to Avatar Day last year, you know the drill. The studio shows some footage around the country to get people excited and talking, and give out some free swag. It’s pretty awesome.

After checking in and getting our trendy wristbands, we are then searched for any and all electronic devices (I’m talking airport shit here) Disney means serious business.

After taking our seats, they proceeded to tell is all the awful things that will happen to us if we try to record any footage. They all put on some night vision goggles and dimmed the lights. Yes, they had night vision goggles on. Fuckin Sam Fisher style.

Then the scenes played

My overall reaction. I was floored. It was the quickest 23 minutes of my natural life. I’ve said a lot of bad things about 3D… but here… it’s perfect. With imagery that rivals Avatar’s… in fact. Is an assload better than Avatar’s. That’s right. I said it.

There have been complaints about the acting being stale… well, what do you expect from a bunch of computer programs and one really confused dude? Shakespeare?

Olivia Wilde is beautiful in 3D  and is clearly having a good time doing it. That’s always a good sign.

And I want to leave you with one thing…

Light Jets.

Philospohy Monday (On a Wednesday): Fame and Fortune. Earning and Achieving.

First off. This is required. Since I said FAME.

Fucking song stuck in my head now… ugghhh.

Anyway, I’ve had numerous discussions lately with people about being rich and famous. Wanting this and

wanting that. Many links on facebook were bombed with dumb comments (you know who you are haha)
The issue was, how is it done? Back in the day (before I was born even) You had to sing, dance, and be decent looking at the same time. This is not an easy feat.
Well, it’s 2010. Things are different. Much different.

Apparently in post 9-11 America, being black and being goofy makes you hundreds of thousands of dollars overnight. It’s a sad reality.
What gets worse is mofos like this are like gnats. I can’t even follow the Gregory Bros. on twitter anymore because they keep re-tweeting his retarded ass tweets.

Killing America. One tweet at a time.

It’s painful considering the folks that MADE his “fame” possible were the Gregory Bros. Who, I must say are talented (As long as they’re doing the news). However, I barely hear them mentioned. I would like to personally thank them for creating such a monster.

-“But What’s Wrong? He Made His Money.”

Yeah, he did. There’s nothing wrong with making money. But it’s the whole “One Trick Pony” thing. Didn’t we learn this on THE SIMPSONS? Anyone who claims the man can sing… or do anything else except recite he dumb catchphrase needs to be put down for the good of humanity… or we could just let Darwin take care of it.

On the other hand, I do also have a tiny issue with money. It clouds our better judgment.

Kurt Sutter put it the best.

At the end of my 80 and 90 hour weeks I start to ask myself, “Why am I doing this?”  Lately, my answers aren’t that convincing.  And when “money” is my only response, it’s time to walk away.

-“He’s a smart guy.”

See picture above.


-“Shut up furfag. You’re just jealous.”

But am I just jealous? A little of yes and a little of no. There’s a part of me, and I know a part of a lot of people that have a right to be a little so. We take pictures, write, direct, act, or whatever we do. We grind and bust our asses every day of our lives and pay our dues. We know it’s gonna pay off one day. But to have someone who’s just a goof to get famous off of… well… not even being  a goof… but a stupid black man, can be frustrating. At the end of the day though, they will be forgotten and people who work hard will be remembered for years to come.


That said, there are a lot of great artists on youtube. I’ve seen them. But again, a lot of those people have paid their dues and worked extremely hard to do some really great stuff. But we live in a really stupid culture these days where we thrive off dumb things.


There are a lot of writers, filmmakers, and photographers I interact with on a daily basis. I’ve seen their work and I have the most respect in the world for those people. I believe they will become successful. Will they be rich as well? I say they will. It’s really the only things we know how to do really well, or else we wouldn’t be busting our asses doing them now would we?

Basically the way I see it, we all have an allotted time on this earth to do something great. For me, it’s filmmaking. I just love it. The very aspect makes my balls feel good (joke). So my days and nights are spent improving that craft. Day in and day out. Not to achieve fortune, but to satisfy my own desire to make something great. I know Youtube can’t do that for me by itself, so I gotta do everything I can… and just be nice. Explore. You don’t know who you might meet. I’ll go into more details with all that later though.


So yeah, fame and fortune are very achievable for anyone now adays, but do you have the talent to make that shit a habit? You gotta earn it.. and when you do get there, don’t stop working. Don’t be a Tyler Perry. Have some integrity.

Next thing you know, 50 Tyson is gonna have an album.

Be right back. I’m gonna get record myself getting kicked in the nuts 100 times and post it on youtube.



Blast from the Past: Wolfen Vs. Oregon Trail

There are defining moments in everyone’s life. Mine is getting angry and cursing at Oregon Trail. That game is just a random number generator. It’s bullshit for real.
I decided a while back to get this shit on tape. And I did.
Enjoy my suffering.

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It gets better.
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Philosophy Mondays: What We All Want.

Examine this.

This scene encompasses our ideals, not only as Americans, but just as human beings in general.

We’re raised to believe that we want certain things. A nice house, nice car, a steady six figure job, and a big titted/big dicked partner (I don’t judge). As we grow up, we realize how far out of reach those things can honestly be. The economy sucks and let’s just face it, romance is dead. So we just have to freestyle our way into things. But we’re still unsure about what we TRULY want.

If I’ve learned anything from growing up, it’s even if you live in a $800k house (which I did), have a father that makes 7 figures (which I did) and has been married for 30 odd years (Closing in on 40), it doesn’t make you any bigger a person or any less of a fucking scumbag. It’s all about the heart.

But with all that said, it’s not that we don’t want to be successful. We should all want the best for ourselves, but shouldn’t step all over other people to get it. We should be working towards improving ourselves.

Ask yourself: How can I improve this world before I leave it?

Make every day count, don’t know how many you got.

This entry may seem all over the place, but it’s got a central theme. Do what’s right.

Yeoh Dawg, I heard you like Martial Arts Films

Welcome the fuck back Michelle Yeoh. It’s been a while since we’ve seen your prowess on-screen (The Mummy 3 doesn’t count.. It never happened.) Last time was Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon… that’s a huge bar to hurdle. And unfortunately, it doesn’t quite compare to the epicness that was Ang Lee’s masterpiece. But it’s not fair to compare the two.

Su Chao-Pin (Silk) directed and the great John Woo co-directed… even though this movie reeks of purely John Woo’s cinematic flare. But this is a good thing. The story focuses on Drizzle (Da Driz). A well trained assassin. When she wants a normal life, she gets some old school plastic surgery and ends up selling fabrics and shit.


But along comes Ah-Sheng. The man she eventually marries. He’s got a few secrets of his own.


When The Dark Stone gang comes looking for their former member Drizzle, all hell breaks loose. Think of this movie as “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” in China… with swords.

The movie, even in its slower moments is a treat. The actors look pretty comfortable working with each other, and there’s plenty of those awkward/hilarious moments you expect from martial arts films. But it’s really all about the swordplay.

I dunno what it is about swords and the dark. But I think EVERY sword fighting scene was at night. And no one ever hears the commotion outside their doors. That’s not a complaint, just an observation.

I’ve been treated to 3 VERY good martial arts movies this year(IP Man 1 and 2). In a world these days when the universe is full of shitty sequels, you can always find a gem. I’m glad I took the time. Rock on Michelle Yeoh, you still look good. Keep kicking ass.



The State of the Chicago Fighting Game Community

Is bad.

This is coming from a guy who’s been in and out of the community for over a decade.

I’ve seen a lot of games come and go, I’ve seen a lot of players come and go. Why don’t we seem to have a place to go and just… BE for more than two or three months at a time. I’ll show you why…

Once upon a moon, everyone went to Nickel City to play fighters (least when I started) it was good times to say the least. But then, you all stopped going. Why? Because they wouldn’t buy the games you wanted or the sticks you liked. You all bitched the moaned and complained until management just told you to fuck yourselves.

But that’s really no biggie, Nickels wasn’t exactly Mecca, but it was what we had. Maybe a lot of it was on Nickels as well. Either way, shit got fucked.

After Nickels, I pretty much dropped out of the scene. A tournament here or there. Maybe a gathering every now and again. I was all about DDR at the time and that just eats up time… not to mention I was with a bunch of people I still call my friends to this day.

I really got back into fighters when Street Fighter 4 came out. And much to my delight, a SF4 arcade machine pops up at Gameworks of all places, AND a fuckin KOF 12. GET THE FUCK OUT!

You guys kept that place packed for weeks. Until Super was announced, then that place basically died (fighting game wise) as well. But this time, we can agree. I’ll put it in bold GAMEWORKS MANAGEMENT IS RETARDED for real. But how can you honestly expect them to shell out money for a game that you all will be bored with in a matter of weeks. Shit’s not cost effective.

Now, you guys have Galloping Ghost. The most impressive arcade I’ve ever laid my eyes on. It attracts all kinds of gamers. Fuck, even WHOLE FAMILIES. I’ve never seen anything like it. And you basically have every major fighting game known to man in one place. I would just be glad about that in the first place. But of course you’re not. You want your fuckin Sanwa buttons and all that jazz because your Madcatz sticks have made you all a bunch of pussies. Yeah they’re nice, but not nearly as durable. You gotta remember, it’s there for fun and games… but at the end of the day, it’s a business. To just dump the place because they don’t have the buttons you like or the screen on Super 4 is a little laggy (which it is, they’ve made it better though) is just dumb. Anyone who goes to Galloping Ghost JUST to play Super 4 needs to be on a short bus. And fifteen bucks for all day fun, that’s less then I spent for a couple of hours in an arcade… or like an hour at Gameworks. Not to mention the 100 odd games… many of which I haven’t played. I usually just find myself not playing any fighting games at all.

I’m 100% sure the staff at Galloping Ghost would LOVE to work with you guys on some sort of fighting events or something. But you know, they read the internet too… they’re not your typical arcade owners and staff by a fucking longshot. They care about the quality of the experience and all that good stuff. They aren’t awful people because they won’t take your spiked dildo of redonkulus demands. They’re smarter than Nickels was. It’s not financially wise.

I may be a little harsh but I’m just speaking the truth. Not that I don’t talk to or enjoy the company of anyone in the community, it’s just when you’re all together, you’re a big ol’ cloud of stupid sometimes always. I don’t think I’m gonna get invited to events anymore, but hey, price of keeping real.

The Chicago fighting game scene has zero class. You all say the same about Smash Bros. Community… well, at least they get shit done. Chicago needs to step it up and grow a pair.

Go to Galloping Ghost and just enjoy the hell out of yourself… when you stop taking games seriously, you actually start enjoying yourself. Because people seem to go there and do that. Your presense would be nice, but they don’t NEED you. You can keep making places like Area XIII that tank because the community is full of… well pussasses who won’t even pay you five bucks. But to be honest, I wouldn’t pay five bucks to hang out in my buddy’s garage either (Though that is a good idea Shane).

Peach out Bitch.

3 Film Projects You Say? That Must Be The Fucking Charm.

This bitch is gonna fuck you up hardcore

Arrows are finally getting the movie they deserve. Enter

Dance Dance Revolution: The Warrior’s Path

Pretty catchy name huh. This is super srs movie with a deep, thought provoking message of peace and goodwill.


Or not.


The specifics are going to pan out over the weekend. What I have now is five heroes. And five villians.

There will be plenty of pad misses, gore, and lack of deodorant. Just like real life.

Start giving me some ideas people. Who should be hero? Who should be villain?


The Social Network AKA Mark Zuckerberg Is An Asshole

This movie is two hours of Mark Zuckerberg being an asshole.  The viewer should be able to feel some sort of compassion for the protagonist of a film, and character flaws, such as his “assholery” should represent some deep-seeded flaw or conflict that the character is trying to make up for.  That is, if such a relatable inner conflict exists.

Mark Zuckerberg steals the idea from facebook from a couple other students, who row crew, in an attempt to make himself feel better about his recent break-up, during which, his (ex)girlfriend stated she “had a thing” for guys who row crew.  He convinces his best friend to join him in his venture, mainly because he needs money.  He turns around by, supposedly, falsely planting a story in The Crimson (Harvard newspaper) about his roommate abusing an animal.  He does this out of jealousy from his friends’ acceptance into a Final Club, which at the beginning of the film, is shown to be Zuckerberg’s one wish in college.

A horribly undeveloped subplot of the movie is Zuckerberg’s failed relationship with a Boston University girl.  This is never fully developed, and it left me with a sense of unease.  Right after his break-up, in a drunken fit, Zuckerberg blogs many terrible things about the girl, knowing full well she would read them.  Then when facebook starts taking off like wildfire, he makes sure there is a story in the Boston University newspaper, a final “fuck you” to the girl he loved, as if to say, “look how good I am without you.”

Zuckerberg made his money from being good and being an asshole.  I usually appreciate people who do what they have to do in order to succeed, but Zuckerberg seriously overdid it.

All that being said: great script, great actors, great director, but there just wasn’t a movie worthy story here.  I have a lot of respect for Jesse Eisenberg (See: The Education of Charlie Banks, The Squid and the Whale) and David Fincher (Fight Club), so it’s a shame for both of them to have their names attached to this.

C+ (and that is being generous)

The Social Network IS NOT GOOD. If You Think So, You’re Just As Dumb As Mark’s Friends.

This is the perfect way to describe the shit I saw this morning.

I’ve been hearing for weeks about the strength of script. I heard it being compared to the likes of Citzen Kane and Fight Club.

This of course got me really excited. Being a lover of a strong script first… and everything else second.

Upon the rolling of the credits… it was all a lie.

Aaron Sorkin’s script was witty, smart… and just plain well done. Don’t get me wrong. But the film, like the book it’s made off of seems VERY one sided and mean spirited… like a Michael Moore movie. Everyone is so shalow and one dimensional. But I don’t know if that’s the acting or the writing doing that? Maybe a little of both? Too many characters and not enough good dialogue to go around.

As far as direction goes. I loved almost every shot. Dave Fincher did the best with what he had. Too bad it wasn’t much.

This continues to show how bad a year 2010 has been for Hollywood that this is the best people flock to. Enough sequels and Dreamworks is making more enjoyable animated films than Pixar lately, I’m sorry.

I’m gonna cut it short today… *sigh* I just don’t like totally one sided movies. It just seems snarky and petty.

But then again… a lot of the people who saw this movie also play “Farmvile” and “Mafia Wars”… so I wouldn’t expect anyone with an actual IQ to actually love this movie to death. When Oscar season fires into high gear next month, you’ll see some movies really worth your time.