Month: November 2010

DDR Movie Update: Week 3

We had no big updates last week. Holiday shit.

But it’s worth the wait!

FIRST DRAFT IS COMPLETE. Go ahead, download it, go to the facebook page. And start chucking some suggestions around. This is a DDR Movie for the people. So I’d like to know what you want to see.

Remember, the indiegogo page is up, and in the next few days, I’m going to announce perks.

 

Stay classy!

 

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Here’s penis in your eye

I’m not the biggest horror fan… SAW doesn’t really do it for me. Months ago I heard about A Serbian Film.

Very odd yet generic name. I heard it getting a lot of buzz back at SXSW.

People were fainting and throwing up and shit… Much like they were when The Human Centipede came out. And as much as I loved Human Centipede, it was basically a no brainer that I had to check this shit out. I mean, it couldn’t POSSIBLY be any more graphic or disturbing that the anal sewing of than movie.

I was wrong, oh so very wrong.

A Serbian Film blurs the line between quality cinema and porn. I mean seriously

The film focuses on Milos, a former porn star who is down on his luck financially. When he receives a call from his long-time movie actress partner, Layla, he decides to meet with her. Apparently she’s heard that a new film director wants to hire him to star in his “artistically” porn for a lota dat cash money. He is easily lured and finds out quickly that he’s in over his head.

SPOILER ALERT:

The next series of events include, but are not limited to…

*Baby fucking

*Beating on women and ejaculating on their faces

*Having your teeth pulled out of your head and have a dude shove his twigs and berries in your mouth, choking you to death.

*Fucking women and chopping their heads off… then continuing to fuck them.

*Fucking your 5 year old son.

*Stabbing someone in the eye with your erect penis and killing them.

END OF SPOILER

As you can see, this movie requires a strong constitution to make it through. It’s many kinds of messed up. But it succeeds at doing what horror movies are meant to do… disturb. And that it does. Tenfold.

This is a movie everyone should see… once… and only once. If you’re coming back for second helpings, you need to be in a mental hospital or put down. That said, this is one of my favorites of the year. Find a torrent. I’m sure even the NC-17 version will be cut down when it comes to the states officially next month.

Sick sick sick, but so good.

A+

Why the hell should I pay for your movie?

Crowd-sourcing is still relatively new. I mean… why should you pay for something you can get for free? I can answer this very simply…

It’s the damn future.

But I’ll explain further.

We all have a personal gripe with Hollywood. Well, for filmmakers it’s just the fact that we have to cut off our own penises to even have a meeting with someone.

However, if you’re lucky enough to get into that door with your penis still attached, your creative control will be very limited… unless of course you own a company, lucky said company was stupid (in Mr. Luca’s case)

Or are this nigga.

If you don't know who this is... I weep for you. This nigga is everywhere, I swear to God.

The best movies are ones that the filmmakers WANT to make. If a filmmaker is making a film JUST to pay the bills or buy that new expensive car… it can end very badly. VERY BADLY

That brings me back to that common topic of artistic integrity. If a person is working, but not necessarily looking for anything in return, they’re gonna make exactly what they want the they want it. Though it most likely won’t have too many cars blowing up and all that 3D junk… it has heart, true heart. I would mention Hanna Sk├Âld and Nasty Old People. But I’ve spoken about it at length… manymanytimes before. When your target audience knows a film’s got heart, they’ll love it… and you.

By contributing to such a project, you’re not just a viewer anymore. You’re a co-creator. More often than not, there are incentives when investing a film. Whether it be t-shirts, name in the credits, or a walk on role… you’re just a person sitting in a dark room eating popcorn and for 10 bucks. So the choice is yours. Fund the future, or fund more of the same. We gotta advance people. Indie film is the future

Dance Dance Revolution: The Warriors Path… my project.

or

Hanna’s new project Granny’s Dancing on the Table. It’s not just a film, it’s a lot of stuff.

Both very different projects, but both with a lot of heart. At the very least, kick em out and leave some words of encouragement. Or don’t. It’s all good ­čśÇ

Now that I read this, it seems disjointed and crazy sounding. Good, crazy is good in my line of work!

Tootles!

DDR Movie Update: Week 2

Okay, it’s been quite a week thus far. I got the Indiegogo page up… because I’m just that awesome.

I also reached the halfway point in the script. You can read it HERE.

 

Remember on the Indiegogo page… there are also jobs listed. I gots jobs for this film I need filled. Like now. Check that shit out if you have the chance.

Until next week true believers!

 

I Fucking Hate Tyler Perry

I have serious fucking gender issues.

Very strong words I know. I hope they are anyway. I just watched “For Colored Girls”. I’ll admit I pirated that shit too. I want my bandwidth back you jive motherfucka.

There are a lot of black filmmakers out there. Spike Lee, Mario Van Peebles (That dude is the shit), John Singleton.

But those guys (except Van Peebles who’s working on Damages) have faded into obscurity. Whether it’s Spike just being an “activist” instead of an artist. Or John just… not working for one reason or another.

Enter the age of Tyler Perry. Being from Chicago, I know of him well. His Medea plays got him a lot of attention. And even I had to admit the first one was pretty damn funny.

The first time. Not the 5 that followed.

But then, Mr. Perry fell into that deep pit known as self plagiarism. Releasing on fat black person movie after another… and putting on a fat suit and a dress over and over again.

BECAUSE CLEARLY, THE ONLY WAY BLACK PEOPLE CAN GET ANY LAUGHS THESE DAYS IS TO CROSS DRESS IN A FAT SUIT AND BREAK DANCE.

But wait, when he’s not in a fat suit. He’s busy about writing how much man suck. That’s a really odd type of material for a man to be writing… unless of course that man is a homosexual. If I spent so much time hating women and wearing a dress… I’d be gay too.

When it all boils down, to it, Tyler Parry is just an angry, closeted homosexual who realized early on he could better… but just never went to that next level because he was too comfortable. I talk about artistic integrity all the time. This is one of the prime violators of this. When you’re blessed with the opportunity to make something great that everyone will see, don’t you want to take it to higher heights every time? Mr. Parry apparently doesn’t believe in that.

But, black people use him as some sort of a hero. Because he overcame adversity. Yeah, he overcame adversity to be mediocre and a prude instead of bettering his craft. His movies cater to the lowest common denominator. Ignorant, insecure, black people. That’s right. I hear black people always saying they feel empowered by his movies.

So fat, obnoxious cross dressers make you proud and powerful huh?

Sadly, this thought hasn’t exactly clicked in the small minds of the Tyler Perry fanbase. He’s only getting rich off you low self-esteem and love of repetitiveness. I weep for you my brothers and sisters. But Perry won’t last much longer the way his films are going.

Mr. Perry, I could respect you if I actually saw you branch out from the whole “Black Pride” or “Man suck” paytrain. You have money. What else do you want? How are you going to be remembered? Thanks for representing all black filmmakers by wearing a dress.

Fuck you Tyler Parry.