Month: December 2011

Your early Christmas Present, Let’s Do Something Diffrent

Because we've all been here before.

I spend a lot of time talking about these various. Projects and things. But mostly as a service to those who will be working with me during this next year. It would be good to know that I’m not a serial killer (yet). That’s why I like to meet everyone beforehand… mostly so I can be comfortable, as well as know their limitations. You can learn a lot by a simple conversation or three. I also like to keep a running log of people’s fears. It’s quite interesting, try it sometime.

Anyway, let’s do that thing I hate. Talking about myself. Furry, formal military, mental patient… simple ways I can describe myself. But who really describes themselves? That’s stupid.

Let’s get to the heart of the matter. You’ll notice right away I’m not your average type of director. I always value my actors thoughts and opinions on what I write, which is why I leave every step of the process open to you all… at least on certain projects like the current one. You actors are playing the characters, not me. So I want to try to fit your skill set as much as I can, while at the same time pushing you into something new. But then again that’s what acting is all about… but then again, I’m not an actor so maybe I’m doing it wrong.

Those who worked with me before you the deal. New folks, brace yourselves for something quite different.

I got 5 movies I want to do this year. Let’s see how it goes… Work never stops for me. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually get paid for something in 2012.

Well, tootles all… I have lots more production work to do over the holiday weekend. Peace out.

Selling Out Made Simple: Wanna help with the new film? Here’s How.

Good news everyone. We’ll be filming in March as I stated last night. But due to us kicking it up a few notches (RED Scarlet), it’s time for more funding.

Which is why you’ll see a Kickstarter campaign in the next few weeks. Also, if you would like to invest in this at all… just contact me however you want (info is above on the navigation bar).

Also, if anyone out there owns a business or something they’d like to let us shoot in, again, let me know. You’d be taking a lot off my back.

This is selling out made simple fellas. Okay, it’s just business. But it is what it is. Let’s get back to the fun stuff now shall we? Tons of announcements this upcoming week.

Burning that midnight oil

Just wanted to make a couple of updates right quick.

1. Production starts March 15th in Chicago.
2. Cast has been completed, expect that to be posted soon.
3. New equipment has been bought, expect to see some videos of us playing with it in retarded ways.
4. More angry director man posts are coming, until then, have a blessed holiday season ya’ll.

First to Five season 1

Bonk FTW

Things have been nothing but hectic around these parts, as you can see from the last couple of posts. But there’s plenty of fun to be had. In comes the ultimate Let’s Play… First to Five.

I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks thinking about what games have made people super salty over the years. Here’s a list. You might just see some high level Rise of the Robots lol

1. Super Mario Kart

2. Micro Machines (NES)

3. Turok 2

4. Pokemon Stadium 2

5. Mariokart 64

6. Pokemon Puzzle League

7. Mario Party

8. Timesplitters: Future Perfect

9. Diddy Kong Racing

10. F-Zero GX

11. The shitty Fighting Game Extravaganza.

  • Clayfighter
  • Rise of the Robots
  • Bloody Roar 2
  • Shaq Fu
  • Robo Pit

12. NFL Blitz 2001

13. Mario Party 3

14. Crusin’ USA (Fuck Chicago)

Sprinkled in will be videos of Smash Bros., KOF 13, Marvel, or whatever else we may think will be interesting.

I gotta line up hosts for each of these episodes. But it’s going to be quite epic.

You see any games we need? Just tell me what’s up.

To all my dear actors: This is not how to carry yourself.

Okay, as everyone who’s ever worked on a movie or something like it knows… it’s not always beds of roses with sunshine and butterflies. It’s where professionals get down to the nitty-gritty and do whatever it takes to create the best product they can. Pump it Up: The Warrior’s Path is no different in that respect. I hand-picked each and every member of the cast. I tailor the characters to the actor to reach that maximum awesome. That’s just how I roll.

I’m also one of the nicest directors you’re going to run into out there. True story.

As the title of the article suggests, I’ve been kicked in the dick pretty hard by an actor who shall remain nameless. We’ll just call them Bobby. I spent a great deal of time talking to Bobby and breaking down the script to him. He seemed quite excited at the time and pretty pumped (no pun intended) to be part of a pretty unique production. This of course makes me as the director and producer pretty damn excited as well. A professional thinking what I’M doing is cool? Fuck yes.

I even went into the city to meet Bobby and just take in a film with them, see what makes them tick. As I talked to Bobby though, things started to unravel a little bit. Apparently his morals conflicted with the character a little bit. This movie is full of fucking assholes. I don’t think you’re supposed to feel morally attached to them. Just sayin’. But, being a professional actor… you would think this guy would just do what I’m going to pay them to do and just play the role of this character?

Apparently not.

A message from Bobby later via the facebook.

Hi Joseph!
I read the entire script and had a couple of notes:
I, as an actress (and writer), try creating characters that don’t swear or fornicate (I mean actual penetration) on camera–although these things can always be alluded to. I just think it would sound like Emma was a real psychiatrist if she spoke properly and didn’t curse, don’t you?

This is where I, or many other writer/directors might take offense. You read the script. You know the tone. And I’m not asking anyone to be penetrated on camera either. Don’t know where that came from . But Bobby shouldn’t be filling my head with these ideas. I’m not going to make a character squeaky clean because it makes a person uncomfortable. I thought acting was about being someone you’re not? Shoot me if I’m incorrect.

But here comes me… giving folks the benefit of the doubt. Thinking she’ll warm up to the cast and crew. We’re actually a pretty tight bunch. Even our dearest Claire was a bit cold in the beginning, but warmed up to us.

But things continued. Here’s a running dialogue.

Bobby: I believe it.
Hey…tell those guys…if they happen to be speaking of MY titty meat–that I don’t know them quite well enough for a joke like that. Although I do get the strawberry reference!\
sexywolfen: Of course. Bacon and strawberries. There we go.
Bobby: Bacon??
sexywolfen: Guys like bacon. Everyone likes bacon
Bobby: Yes, I know I do.
sexywolfen: You’ll adjust to all this I’m sure.
Bobby: I dunno.
sexywolfen: You will, everyone’s pretty great.
Bobby: They seem like it…just a bit vulgar for me. Sometimes..
sexywolfen: Vulgar yes, but they mean well
Bobby: Okay! Okey-dokey.
sexywolfen: Just trying to drag you down a level to where we are lol
Bobby: Hm. That’s not very likely to work, but I get your sense of humor. It’s good that you want me to be one of y’all.
sexywolfen: Just trying to create the best environment before you get jarred with all this at once.
Bobby: It would be nice if I could meet with someone at least three times in person before the strange jokes begin..?? Have a good night!

Okay, yeah. I’m starting to get the idea that Bobby had no idea what he was getting his bubbly ass into. It makes me wonder if the script was actually read. It’s really looking like it wasn’t. If that’s the case, I’ve been being lied to. That’s not okay. It’s shitty. You shouldn’t do things like this to people.

Here’s the kicker. I got this message while I was taking a break with some NBA Jam.

Hey, Hey, Hey!  It was nice meeting you the other day.  I’m very sorry, but I won’t be able to be in “Pump it up.”, I’ve got too much going on!  I know that you will be a great director and maybe we’ll meet on another set again one day very soon!  Cheers, and good luck filming!  🙂

I’m glad there was a smiley at the end of that or I’d be pretty fucking pissed /sarcasm.  Sorry, doubt we’ll meet up again. I sold you as such a wonderful professional to everybody and then you just turn your back on me and fart in my face. Everyone else thought you were pretty cool too. Maybe I should have known better, but I like to give anyone a chance who wants to work for me. They just need to act like decent human beings. When I read this message. All I could see was, “Fuck you”. Maybe I’m being melodramatic, but that’s the way I felt. When I have the chance to hash out a character with someone, I try to make it fit them. But to completely flip the demeanor of a character, fuck that shit. Doubt we’ll be meeting another film set man.

You want to be a professional? Fucking act like one. Now… I need to get back to my filthy little script. Thankfully I have a full backlog of replacements. Stupid me.

If I was a worse person, I’d use their actual name. Don’t wanna ruin them though. Maybe they’ll get a clue.

Everything You Didn’t Want to Know About Pump it Up: The Warrior’s Path

Taking a minute to jot down some things.

I really don’t think I’ve made myself quite clear on what exactly it is I’m trying to accomplish. So I’ll lay some things down right now and go all in depth on the cast and crew’s asses on the 18th.

If you’re not familiar with Pump it Up… I suggest you Google it and do so. We’ll be getting some gameplay videos over the weekend during our time at the University. So stay tuned for that.

Secondly, if you haven’t taken a look at this cut from the first film (where we had no budget, rhyme or reason) do it now. You’d get a pretty solid idea what to expect from this production. I can’t stress enough how much I’m going to take everyone out of their comfort zone. Way out. But that’s a lot of the fun right? Right?

I gotta start laying out payroll today as well… fuuuuuuuu. So much to do. Maybe I’ll add a couple of scenes, and I gotta call Nate in Australia. Grah.

It’ll all be worth it though. Can’t wait.

So yeah, there’s not much to tell here right now. Outside is that, and the possible inclusion of a Red Scarlett which would be beyond awesome to be able to play with.


Now back to work. I’m always around. Toodles.

Hey “Artists”… I’m going to keep it real with ya.

It’s time for angry Wolfen. You ready folks?

Okay, it’s time to keep it real. I just got done talking to my sensei to make sure I wasn’t acting like some sort of fucking loon. Take a look at the picture above if you haven’t gotten a chance to. I’ll wait.

Now, what does it say?

Having to say shit like this = no confidence!

Basically it says that they’re an artist and they won’t work for free. This is fine right? There’s no shame in wanting to get paid for your hard work and diligence. We all want that right?

But let’s keep it real for a minute. As a writer/director/producer… this is one of those things that can really make you rip your hair out. I would at least like to lay out the project for you and what’s expected before being turned upside down and the money shaken out of me. There just isn’t that type of money to spend just yet. I have to hand pick and fucking screen everyone I come across… and if the project itself isn’t the first thing on your mind when you’re actually talking to my ass ABOUT THE PROJECT, then at that point you can just fuck yourself.

My thoughts: Who the fuck is this bitch and why does she feel entitled to a free paycheck?

We all need to prove ourselves. Have a decent background of the thing you want before trying to shake people down. No one is going to hire someone right out of the fucking blue to do something that may or may not be quality. Nothing personal, it’s business. But when you fuck with my business, it’s personal. You’re going to have to do stuff for free. It’s the nature of being an artist. But people will see what you do and see you have heart and passion and good things will come to you. I’ve done it, and I’m much better for it.

I’ve discussed it before. Everyone’s getting paid. That’s just the fact of the matter. But if I’m paying you, you’re going to need to get the fuck on my level. Things have changed, I’m not playing around here. You want the spoils of war, you’re going to have to fight for it as much as I do… if not more.

To my dear friends on this project: This may be the last time we ever work together… unless you show me something really special. You’re being given a great opportunity, don’t fuck this shit up.

So artists. No, you don’t deserve you get paid. You have to make people DESIRE to pay you. I don’t give a shit how good friends we are.

Any questions?