Month: June 2013

My friend and colleague Barrett… Needs More Credit

ImageThat hat was almost as good of a purchase as my horse head. Almost.

You may have remembered this guy and his shotgun loading antics. Well, he’s not with us anymore, he died last week. Not only did I really lose a one of a kind character, I also lost a one of a kind friend.

I remember when I first met him. I believe it was at Brunswick Zone: Oak Lawn when we were playing ITG a lot. Because kids, ITG used to be fun at one point. There was a rather large group of us, maybe a dozen or more who would just come in on Fridays and play rounds with one another. I don’t exactly remember how good Barrett was at ITG, but he would always show up with John (also pictured).

We really started hanging out more after I cast him in my first movie. He was really into acting and I can tell. Whenever someone is really into their role, it shows and you can always just sit down and think about how awesome it was. And you can just mention it and people will know what you’re talking about.

I’m talking about the shotgun scene. You all know what I mean.

But as the director, it’s good when an actor comes to you and really wants to break the character down with you… you know… like actors are supposed to do. Take note of that everyone. Believe it or not, the man actually knew what he was doing acting wise if you knew it or not. He would really disappear into character… as much as Barrett can anyway, because there was no one like him.

I remember one time on set, our camera guy Josh, who’s a fucking turd (just my opinion, I’m sure his mom loves him.) had his headphones on check the mic levels or something. The microphones we used are super sensitive and Barrett just yelled “Buttfuck” into it really loud, blew that turd’s hearing out for a little while. I found it hilarious, even then.

He was also in the 2nd movie, but we had to cut his scene after said turd stole a ton of footage from us and really messed up the movie as a whole. Those scenes are going to be put into the 3rd movie which I’m working on right now. And he was going to be a major player in this 3rd movie too, but unfortunately that’s not going to happen. Some rewrites are happening and we’ll get to filming in about a month.

Away from the film, we didn’t hang out as much as I would have liked. But when we did it was always a good time. He told the best stories… I love the one of Shadow and Shadow G. I forget how it went though.

I remember driving him home one day and we started talking about Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” and the true meaning of it. The guy was really passionate about verses.

I guess that’s why he was so into poetry. Most people didn’t know this at all. But he’s been writing poetry since… well… a while. He would periodically send me stuff to read. I was course did and was presently surprised. It really looked like something he put his heart and soul into. Much like I do when I write and we bonded quite a bit over that. I really wish I could actually write poetry, but I lack emotions and stuff. But I respect those who can get their emotions on paper like that. He always said he wanted the world to see his poetry… I dunno, maybe we can do that. We’ll see.

I was just telling my friend last month that people don’t give Barrett enough credit. Him and I were really similar that way. People just simply misunderstood who we were and what we were trying to accomplish with what we do. They tend to fear us or just push us aside… which really isn’t right but that’s how we are in America I guess.

I just honestly wish everyone else saw what I saw. They’d think a little bit differently.

Guess I’ll close with that. I’ll certainly miss you Barrett. This next movie is for you and Jim.

Why Indie Filmmaking is Just High School All Over Again

It’s just me, doing that dangerous “Thinking” thing again as I struggle with my own self to make it from movie to movie without going completely crazy. It’s a tough thing sometimes and I try to rationalize it into something I’m familiar with.

And it came to me.

High School. And I’ll give you two reasons why

HighSchoolMusical

 

Okay, but there’s fewer catchy tunes and we all can’t be as photogenic as ol Zac.

 

1. Money

-In high school, you had two types of people. Those of us who are broke. And those that are rich and have things just given to them. I , despite rich parents was a victim of tickle down economics. So I was poor and had to work for everything that I got. But you had the rich kids that would go to fucking McDonalds for lunch every day. I was fucking jelly with my PB&J. But Goddammit it was the best fucking PB&J on wheat bread and I was still fed in the end.

-Same goes for making movies. You have people like me, who are trying to make really cool shit out of nothing. It’s quite a feat to even get a movie off the ground when you got no money. Money talks. Then you have those white suburban people with the parents that love and support their career choice to go into filmmaking. Again, I envy those people. But I know my hard work is truly going to pay off someday so it’s okay. It only helps me appreciate things more when I do get them and puts more weight on surrounding myself with good people. Which again, is good for the long run.

2. Cliques

– Damn, I never thought I’d have to use that term again. But we all remember those groups that tended to hang out together. Usually during lunch. Then you had people like me who were sort of an outcast, but had your other outcasty friends and you all formed your little outcast group out of pure survival. All the while, you had the popular kids who had big tables full of friends simply because they were “The Guy”

-Same thing happens in indie film world. Literally. You have groups of actors and stuff that stick together. This is all good and healthy. Just like high school. However, you do see a ton of worship somethings and it just makes you sit back and just watch in disbelief. If this person wasn’t doing all these things, would you even talk to them if you saw them on the street somewhere? The answer is always no. These groups, like in high school will single people out and basically tell them to fuck up. Even if they don’t even really no the person at all and that’s just fucked up. That’s part of the reason why I’m reluctant to go to these artists meetings. No one is leveling up. Everyone is just stroking their cocks and showing fucking suicide movies. Everyone thinks they’re being artsy but they’re really just forgetting they’re in the fucking entertainment industry. Entertain and/or move people or get the fuck out of the way and let someone else do it who truly wants that shit. It’s a hard world out there and we need to stick together.

 

That’s all I really have to say on the matter. I just have to work a little bit harder.