It really took me a while to truly understand it. But I’m feeling much better since. It’s about who exactly I am… not just as a filmmaker, but as person as well. And that’s simply the fact that I’m not a popular guy. I may be nice and funny and all that good stuff. But I’ll never be popular. But this really isn’t a bad thing at all. It only leaves you free to be the person you’re meant to be.
I look around at other people in the business. A great number of them are “friends” with one another. I’m really not. But it’s just as well. Even the ones I do know and work with frequently, will never mention my name or admit that they know me. Yeah, that kinda hurts and it’s really not honest. But you can’t let it change who you are and how you treat those people. Sure it would be nice if those people would speak up for you and have your back every now and again. But not everyone does the right thing. Some people would rather see you fail for whatever reason.
I’d rather have two or three friends give me a high five or a hug or something instead of some online cheering section of suck ups who stare down at people they find “unworthy”. I think that’s a good way to view things. I know that’s not how it is, but maybe I can set a good example for those younger than myself starting up in the business. Be there… and be there for people, for real.
My parents really didn’t approve of what I wanted to do. Okay, maybe I’m being too nice about it. They said I would fail, and laughed at me. As did most of the people I know (those idiots still do that.) Mostly because there’s not boatloads of guaranteed money in it right away. But with some hard work and a couple of friends… I’m still broke as hell. But I’m happy and I’m doing things no one has ever done. Folks like us have ambition, and for some reason, others tend to hate that for one reason or another. But just remember that you’ve got something that no one else can have.
It’s hard, and it hurts, a lot. But you’ll come out of it better and ready to improve. Just stay the course and keep working hard. Someone has to.