I really only write these things for myself so I don’t end up talking to myself all day. That can’t be healthy.
A benefit of living here in Goshen Indiana is the fact that I pretty much spend all of my days alone with my thoughts. And lately my thoughts have been good ones, for the first time in a long time. But of course I can’t help feeling if I’m doing the right thing that filmmakers are supposed to do. I really don’t have anyone rallying around me, most don’t even want to be seen with me.
Does that hurt my feelings? Hells yeah, it used to, a lot. It’s more just annoying now. I’ve really come to terms with some things.
I’m never going to be a popular kid. Never wanted to be. I just want to keep doing my own thing, because people can and will appreciate you for doing so, even if it’s years down the road. Then everyone who didn’t give a single hoot about you is going to decide to give two maybe three hoots about you.
I really don’t like being the center of attention (which is why I don’t like to act). But I do love it when everything comes together.
Just have to keep working at it. Someone will realize all the hard work.