Okay. We’re doing something a little different today. Its all fun qnd games mostly, but sometimes its serious time.
Today is serious time.
I want to talk to you about a problem that im just finally accepting that i need help with. And i see its quite common around those i happen to observe.
I generally don’t complain about it because I dont want my anxiety to define me at all. I’ve always considered talking about it “being a baby”. So i guess it’s time to grab a bottle. Because its a real problem. And it really does explain the person i am.
Even this morning, i was thinking about my job. My job is shitty and the first thing i do when i get home is cry. That isnt fun. I just get overwelmed by the things that happen. All of which are out of my control. But i cant really tell folks at the job because they honestly already make fun of me for looking tired and being stressed out. Of course this is no joke.
Its made me into what i think is a shell of a person. I reach out to people thinking i can get some insight. But i generally end up listening to their problems instead. Which is fine, i like helping.
Whether its fighting game tourney or Roller Derby, it’s painful and scary just to be there. Even though i want to be there and have fun. Im sure they’re nice people. But i just cant bring myself to be there with the other people. Its overwhelming. But again, i felt like i was being a baby. I wanted to do those things so badly but my own self got in the way.
Its been like this my whole life. Even when i went into the military they said i had it. But i decided to tough it out and it turned into a suicide attempt. Its nothing to take lightly.
I always try and talk to people when they’re suffering depression or aniity. The two tend to go hand in hand. Just hang and just listen to them talk. It could make all the difference.
And if you can get help. Get it as so as you can. And im around too if you wanna talk about stuff. Listening is the one superpower i actually got.