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I wanted it to be a good movie. Skiptrace (2016) review.

Jackie Chan.

Okay, you already know it’s going to at least be worth a watch. And Skiptrace is.

But wait, there’s more. You got Jackass’ own Johnny Knoxville in it too? This pretty much guarantees someone’s going to get hurt for no reason.

Yeah, I forgot about this movie too. But I finally got around to watching it.

Jackie Chan plays a cop (surprise) who’s always after this crime boss called “The Matador” and his partner and best friend is killed.

Knoxville plays a conman who witnesses a murder in a Hong Kong casino and ends up being shipped off to Russia by the mob. Yeah, there’s a lot going on here and it’s not really  completely thought out. But we do have WWE’s own Eve Torres with a bad Russian accent.

From there, we find Jackie coming to Johnny’s rescue and the embark on a road trip from Russia to Hong Kong. All the while being chased by both the Russians and the Hong Kong… crime whatever. They learn more and more from one another and find a little common ground.

There’s a twist. It’s actually pretty okay.

But obvious ADR problems and numerous plot holes keep this from being great. Which is a shame because Jackie and Knoxville make a great team. I hope they make another movie together. Hell, I’ll take a sequel to this even.

5/10. This movie could be a lot more fun if the Russians weren’t always randomly showing up. They didn’t even give a valid reason for randomly running into them. But you can also never go wrong with watching Jackie awkwardly fight people.

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Smugglecraft has a Kickstarter at last. Yay!

Way back at IndypopCon 2016 (damn that was forever ago) we got to play this little gem.

Think of it like the Sparrow racing in Destiny, except there are customizations that actually matter and the races are compelling.

We got to do play a little bit and even though if was obviously still early, if any of you know me I’m a big fan of racers… the more insane the better. Just look at my love for Split Second.

Anyway, give their kKickstarter a look. Give them some money. And the beta is coming sooner than I thought. So that’s a great thing. I’ll be picking it up for sure. All I hope is that the online will be up to par. Even though you’ll be doing couch play with this one more often for sure.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/happybadgers/smugglecraft-a-quest-based-hovercraft-racing-game

 

 

 

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Let’s Talk About some Damn Puzzle Games

I’m going to keep this short.

I love Puyo.
I love Tetris.

Puyo and Tetris together. Yes!

And yes I know it’s been out in Japan for quite some time. And yes I’ve gotten to play it a few times. But now I can read stuff. Because it’s finally getting an (official) western release.

 

Here’s the video. I just can’t right now.

I knew it was coming. I just needed a date. And there we go. The question remains, do I get it for Switch or PS4? I might just go with PS4 because arcade stick. But I’m going to the Switch Event next week and will get some hands on time. So I’ll figure that out.

All right. Back the the grindy grind.

 

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Cursing, Axes, and MacBook Pros: Fist Fight (2017) Review

We’ve all gotten into a fight after school, sometimes with a bully. And that’s when we truly learned to stick up for our damn selves… or just got our asses beat into the ground like the chickens we were. That’s the concept on the whole film. Standing up for your damn self.

A high school teacher (Charlie Day) is accused of getting his fellow teacher (Ice Cube) fired because he was acting all crazy towards the students. This of course prompts the crazy teacher to challenge him to a fist fight after school. You know, because he’s just that nuts.

This is, at it’s core a remake of the (I guess) classic 3 O’clock high. But instead of the a kid trying to avoid the fight at all costs, we have an adult doing it. That’s where the MacBook Pro comes in. But I don’t wanna spoil anything for you.

When the fight DOES occur, you’ll be treated to one of the best fight sequences I’ve seen in many many many many years. All while the laughs keep coming.

It’s also worth noting that Tracy Morgan is finally back on screen and still hilarious as always. Good to see he’s getting better and hasn’t really lost a step in his time off.

Come for the fist fight. Stay for the Big Sean song. It’s worth the price of a ticket alone.

And as an added bonus, there was a Q&A with Charlie Day and director Richie Keen. Got a picture with Charlie, it’s on my twitter.

But yeah, give this movie your support. They talked about what they would do for a sequel. So please go see this so it’ll happen.

9/10. I came out of it smiling. That’s rare for me these days.

 

 

Is it the Shoes? Kicks (2016) Review

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It’s just like the time I went searching for the perfect DDR shoe.
Except it’s not like that at all.

What we do have is Justin Tipping’s first big foray into the wide world of features (welcome yo).

I’ll keep this spoiler free as always.

The movie follows 15 year old Brandon. He’s not that special a kid. He’s really small and he doesn’t have the nicest shoes. He and his two friends hang out everyday, doing the same thing a lot of us high school kids did. Go to the corner store, smoke, play ball. That shit.

But a chance encounter gets him a pair of red Jordans. Yes, the originals (Being from Chicago, I know them well.) And people start to notice him finally. That is, until he gets robbed by a thug named Flaco and his goons. So after feeling sorry for himself, he decides to go find his shoes and get them back. Setting him on the most epic adventure your average 15 year old can get.

On the way, he learns about what really matters, friends and just doing the right thing. Not continuing the violent cycle.

The film really spoke to me not only because I was a nothing special kind of kid. I’m a nothing special kind of adult to many. We have this greatness inside of us all the time that we know is there. It’s just a matter of getting someone else to see it as well. And that’s what Brandon does, even if he’s not feeling the results of the matter.

At the end of the day, it’s one of the things I like best. Just a modest story, told on a modest budget. That’s where the real human stories are.

Check it out on demand right now. Or you can come to my house and watch it if you want. But I’m kidding, don’t come to my house.

Can’t wait to see how Lowriders comes out, and hire me. Please. lol.

“Don’t Be That Guy” Overwatch Edition

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We all know that guy.

Don’t be that guy that fucks your whole team up because you’re a dumbass.

1. Don’t play “X” Pls.

I play with my buddy Bigfoot all the time (He streams! Yay!) And (almost) every time he plays Symmetra. Symmetra is a good character. Symmetra has the highest fucking win percentage in the game right now. So that must mean everyone wants a Symmetra on their team because math, right? You would think.

Nope.

“Plz don’t pick Sym. She sucks.”

That’s not what the numbers say. Yet Bigfoot is raking in those Golds. So, make of it what you will. You never know who can be balls out crazy with a character.

 

2. Telling folks to change their characters (at the start)

Now okay, I know that competitive is serious business. I take it pretty seriously too. But you have to remember that at the same time this isn’t professional eSports here. A certain team comp isn’t going to prevail every time and you’re generally playing with a bunch of randoms. You don’t really know what their strengths and weaknesses are as players right from the start.

However, whenever I do see folks struggling, I either switch characters to give THEM some back. Or I simply just ask them if they’re all right playing whoever they’re playing. I’m not just gonna be a dick about it. I need the other team to be salty. Not mine.

3. Less Time Typing. More Time Playing

This goes without saying. If you have time to type and complain, that’s valuable seconds where you could be in position or backing up your teammates.

4. Don’t leave the game.

Don’t fucking do it.

5. Healz Pls

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If I’m playing support, I’m generally hanging around the group… you know, supporting. If you wanna run out alone like a dumbass and expect me to run in there and bail you out, that’s most likely not going to happen. Which kinda goes with number 3. In that time typing, your ass could get over to the group so I can heal ya’ll up.

 

Just remember this shit. And other stuff I might not think about. And maybe you’ll at least not have your team pulling their hair out.

Or everyone will still suck regardless.

With love.

A LĂșcio main.