review

I wanted it to be a good movie. Skiptrace (2016) review.

Jackie Chan.

Okay, you already know it’s going to at least be worth a watch. And Skiptrace is.

But wait, there’s more. You got Jackass’ own Johnny Knoxville in it too? This pretty much guarantees someone’s going to get hurt for no reason.

Yeah, I forgot about this movie too. But I finally got around to watching it.

Jackie Chan plays a cop (surprise) who’s always after this crime boss called “The Matador” and his partner and best friend is killed.

Knoxville plays a conman who witnesses a murder in a Hong Kong casino and ends up being shipped off to Russia by the mob. Yeah, there’s a lot going on here and it’s not really  completely thought out. But we do have WWE’s own Eve Torres with a bad Russian accent.

From there, we find Jackie coming to Johnny’s rescue and the embark on a road trip from Russia to Hong Kong. All the while being chased by both the Russians and the Hong Kong… crime whatever. They learn more and more from one another and find a little common ground.

There’s a twist. It’s actually pretty okay.

But obvious ADR problems and numerous plot holes keep this from being great. Which is a shame because Jackie and Knoxville make a great team. I hope they make another movie together. Hell, I’ll take a sequel to this even.

5/10. This movie could be a lot more fun if the Russians weren’t always randomly showing up. They didn’t even give a valid reason for randomly running into them. But you can also never go wrong with watching Jackie awkwardly fight people.

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Is it the Shoes? Kicks (2016) Review

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It’s just like the time I went searching for the perfect DDR shoe.
Except it’s not like that at all.

What we do have is Justin Tipping’s first big foray into the wide world of features (welcome yo).

I’ll keep this spoiler free as always.

The movie follows 15 year old Brandon. He’s not that special a kid. He’s really small and he doesn’t have the nicest shoes. He and his two friends hang out everyday, doing the same thing a lot of us high school kids did. Go to the corner store, smoke, play ball. That shit.

But a chance encounter gets him a pair of red Jordans. Yes, the originals (Being from Chicago, I know them well.) And people start to notice him finally. That is, until he gets robbed by a thug named Flaco and his goons. So after feeling sorry for himself, he decides to go find his shoes and get them back. Setting him on the most epic adventure your average 15 year old can get.

On the way, he learns about what really matters, friends and just doing the right thing. Not continuing the violent cycle.

The film really spoke to me not only because I was a nothing special kind of kid. I’m a nothing special kind of adult to many. We have this greatness inside of us all the time that we know is there. It’s just a matter of getting someone else to see it as well. And that’s what Brandon does, even if he’s not feeling the results of the matter.

At the end of the day, it’s one of the things I like best. Just a modest story, told on a modest budget. That’s where the real human stories are.

Check it out on demand right now. Or you can come to my house and watch it if you want. But I’m kidding, don’t come to my house.

Can’t wait to see how Lowriders comes out, and hire me. Please. lol.

Truly Hardcore

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There’s a time in your life when you just watch a movie and just spend the next few days talking about it. This time, it was Hardcore Henry. There’s really not a ton I can say about it but… I think I can say a few things.

First of all, I went to an early screening with Hank. We were the 2nd people in line and waited about 4 hours. Because we were going to get those seats nice and far back because we weren’t trusting a first person movie right off the bat with our stomachs (saw Captain Phillips in the front row. Never fucking again.) After sitting down and getting some nachos. We were ready to rock.

Hardcore Henry is a first person action movie. It puts you in the shoes of the hero has he throws, shoots, and freeruns all over the place.

 

I’m basically going to stop describing it here, because you can watch the trailer right above and figure everything out from there.

 

The most important thing is this… I didn’t get any motion sickness whatsoever. Maybe it’s because I’ve played FPSes for so long. But there isn’t any more camera shake than the Bourne films so if  you can survive that, you’ll be okay.

 

It’s Hour Thirty runtime seems just right. It gets Henry’s story in and out quickly. But the real star of the movie is Sharlto Copley who wears many hats during this movie (again, trying not to spoil the fun for you.)

 

Basically, what I’m getting at is this… go see it in theaters. It’s best with friends. I was lucky enough to see it in a crowded theater. You’ll whoop and holler throughout the whole thing. It’s fun like that. Shoutout to director Ilya Naishuller for giving me hope that there are original action movies out there. What’s next? A sequel? That could really be fun.

Anyway, go see it before it’s out of theaters.

 

Expect a video when it’s out on Blu Ray where I point out all the references.