Movie Reviews

Bad, but in a good way. Bad Moms Christmas

Bad-Moms-Christmas

Well, last year, Bad Moms came out. It was a fun little movie that was a lot funnier than it really should have been. The tale of three suburban moms trying to take the stick out of their asses and live life. At least that’s what I got from it.

Now, a year later. We have the same group of women getting the stick out of their asses… at Christmas. With the parents coming to visit conveniently at the same time.

Susan Sarandon, Christine Baranski, and Cheryl Hines join the cast this time around as the grandmothers and as you could guess, are all clashing with their children in one way or another.

If you’ve seen any Christmas movie, you’re already seen the one. From the buildup of the anger, to the blowup, to the reconciliation. It’s all standard stuff. You’ll have some really good laughs in there though. They don’t always feel organic, but they’re laughs nonetheless.

And yes, there’s a swath of movie that’s literally a commercial for Jumpzone. They Adam Sandlered a commercial into the movie. But the scenes were funny so it’s okay I guess.

3/5… it’s fun and you should see it after you make the better choice and see Thor. And there’s a sequel coming so you might as well be up to date. It’s not as good as the first. But that’s a rarity these days anyway.

So go see Thor AND this. It’s a good combo.

 

I wanted it to be a good movie. Skiptrace (2016) review.

Jackie Chan.

Okay, you already know it’s going to at least be worth a watch. And Skiptrace is.

But wait, there’s more. You got Jackass’ own Johnny Knoxville in it too? This pretty much guarantees someone’s going to get hurt for no reason.

Yeah, I forgot about this movie too. But I finally got around to watching it.

Jackie Chan plays a cop (surprise) who’s always after this crime boss called “The Matador” and his partner and best friend is killed.

Knoxville plays a conman who witnesses a murder in a Hong Kong casino and ends up being shipped off to Russia by the mob. Yeah, there’s a lot going on here and it’s not really  completely thought out. But we do have WWE’s own Eve Torres with a bad Russian accent.

From there, we find Jackie coming to Johnny’s rescue and the embark on a road trip from Russia to Hong Kong. All the while being chased by both the Russians and the Hong Kong… crime whatever. They learn more and more from one another and find a little common ground.

There’s a twist. It’s actually pretty okay.

But obvious ADR problems and numerous plot holes keep this from being great. Which is a shame because Jackie and Knoxville make a great team. I hope they make another movie together. Hell, I’ll take a sequel to this even.

5/10. This movie could be a lot more fun if the Russians weren’t always randomly showing up. They didn’t even give a valid reason for randomly running into them. But you can also never go wrong with watching Jackie awkwardly fight people.

Cursing, Axes, and MacBook Pros: Fist Fight (2017) Review

We’ve all gotten into a fight after school, sometimes with a bully. And that’s when we truly learned to stick up for our damn selves… or just got our asses beat into the ground like the chickens we were. That’s the concept on the whole film. Standing up for your damn self.

A high school teacher (Charlie Day) is accused of getting his fellow teacher (Ice Cube) fired because he was acting all crazy towards the students. This of course prompts the crazy teacher to challenge him to a fist fight after school. You know, because he’s just that nuts.

This is, at it’s core a remake of the (I guess) classic 3 O’clock high. But instead of the a kid trying to avoid the fight at all costs, we have an adult doing it. That’s where the MacBook Pro comes in. But I don’t wanna spoil anything for you.

When the fight DOES occur, you’ll be treated to one of the best fight sequences I’ve seen in many many many many years. All while the laughs keep coming.

It’s also worth noting that Tracy Morgan is finally back on screen and still hilarious as always. Good to see he’s getting better and hasn’t really lost a step in his time off.

Come for the fist fight. Stay for the Big Sean song. It’s worth the price of a ticket alone.

And as an added bonus, there was a Q&A with Charlie Day and director Richie Keen. Got a picture with Charlie, it’s on my twitter.

But yeah, give this movie your support. They talked about what they would do for a sequel. So please go see this so it’ll happen.

9/10. I came out of it smiling. That’s rare for me these days.

 

 

Is it the Shoes? Kicks (2016) Review

large_kicks_ver2

It’s just like the time I went searching for the perfect DDR shoe.
Except it’s not like that at all.

What we do have is Justin Tipping’s first big foray into the wide world of features (welcome yo).

I’ll keep this spoiler free as always.

The movie follows 15 year old Brandon. He’s not that special a kid. He’s really small and he doesn’t have the nicest shoes. He and his two friends hang out everyday, doing the same thing a lot of us high school kids did. Go to the corner store, smoke, play ball. That shit.

But a chance encounter gets him a pair of red Jordans. Yes, the originals (Being from Chicago, I know them well.) And people start to notice him finally. That is, until he gets robbed by a thug named Flaco and his goons. So after feeling sorry for himself, he decides to go find his shoes and get them back. Setting him on the most epic adventure your average 15 year old can get.

On the way, he learns about what really matters, friends and just doing the right thing. Not continuing the violent cycle.

The film really spoke to me not only because I was a nothing special kind of kid. I’m a nothing special kind of adult to many. We have this greatness inside of us all the time that we know is there. It’s just a matter of getting someone else to see it as well. And that’s what Brandon does, even if he’s not feeling the results of the matter.

At the end of the day, it’s one of the things I like best. Just a modest story, told on a modest budget. That’s where the real human stories are.

Check it out on demand right now. Or you can come to my house and watch it if you want. But I’m kidding, don’t come to my house.

Can’t wait to see how Lowriders comes out, and hire me. Please. lol.

A guy got shot in the head… so… Headshot! I get it! Headshot (2016) Review

headshot

Headshot is is must for those who enjoy the genre of… well, I don’t really know where to throw this one. I really don’t wanna say Kung Fu because this isn’t China. But I don’t want to say “Indonesian Martial Arts Film” because you’ll just have a huge question mark over your head if you’re not in the know. So we’re just gonna call it an “Ass Kicking Film”.

There you go. New genre, “Ass Kicking”.

Because that’s exactly what happens all throughout the movie. The first 20 minutes or so is a little bit slow, with our hero waking up on a beach with amnesia (yes, that again). The nurse, readying Moby Dick at the time gives him the name Ishmael. From there, a gang of thugs keeps trying to kill him and his new girlfriend, the nurse. Who of course gets kidnapped along with a long child. Because you need the small child element to get things extra tense I guess.

This is literally as deep as the storyline really goes. Any more and I’ll spoil the whole damn thing for you. This movie is literally like playing through a Double Dragon game. All fighting no story. But it’s fun as hell.

You’ll recognise star Iko Uwais from The Raid and it’s equally good sequel. He’s here doing what he does best. Kick ass. And he’s under the direction of Timo Tjahjanto (ABC’s of Death) gives us yet another down and really dirty movie. If you saw ABC’s of Death, you know what I mean.

7/10.
I really want to go back and really analyse these fight scenes though. So smoothly edited and pretty damn long.

Don’t come in expecting any sort of a good story. There’s about 3 movies of content packed into a sub-2 hour run time.

It’s currently running at the Chicago International Film Festival as part of the After Dark series. Go check it out this week. If not, I’m sure it’ll be on DVD and stuff at some time soon. This is really a good one to watch with your action movie nerd friends.

Never Giving Up: “Kubo and the Two Strings”

kubo-main_0

That’s right, we’re talking movies again… now that we’re making movies again. How about that shit?

But like always, I’ll be quick, and to the point.

Kubo and the Two Strings follows the adventure of Kubo (duh) at 12 year old boy who takes care of his mother who suffers from memory loss due to a brain injury. He goes to the town nearby and tells stories using magic and has two string simissin.

But of course things go south when Kubo’s aunts (who are evil of course) come by to kidnap him and take his other eye.

What begins is a magical quest to find a suit a magical armor that will protect him. From there I can’t really spoil it for you. But here’s a quick thought.

Kubo represents me a little bit. Someone who can do some super cool things. But isn’t quite there yet. Doesn’t know what to do, and is a tad scared. But with a little encouragement, finds his way, as well as a patch to forgiveness and understanding.

Maybe I as looking into the movie a little too much, but it’s just kinda how I feel on the matter.

It’s gonna go down as one of my favorites of the year for sure. Go see it, no one seems to be for some reason. Dunno.

Truly Hardcore

maxresdefault (16)

There’s a time in your life when you just watch a movie and just spend the next few days talking about it. This time, it was Hardcore Henry. There’s really not a ton I can say about it but… I think I can say a few things.

First of all, I went to an early screening with Hank. We were the 2nd people in line and waited about 4 hours. Because we were going to get those seats nice and far back because we weren’t trusting a first person movie right off the bat with our stomachs (saw Captain Phillips in the front row. Never fucking again.) After sitting down and getting some nachos. We were ready to rock.

Hardcore Henry is a first person action movie. It puts you in the shoes of the hero has he throws, shoots, and freeruns all over the place.

 

I’m basically going to stop describing it here, because you can watch the trailer right above and figure everything out from there.

 

The most important thing is this… I didn’t get any motion sickness whatsoever. Maybe it’s because I’ve played FPSes for so long. But there isn’t any more camera shake than the Bourne films so if  you can survive that, you’ll be okay.

 

It’s Hour Thirty runtime seems just right. It gets Henry’s story in and out quickly. But the real star of the movie is Sharlto Copley who wears many hats during this movie (again, trying not to spoil the fun for you.)

 

Basically, what I’m getting at is this… go see it in theaters. It’s best with friends. I was lucky enough to see it in a crowded theater. You’ll whoop and holler throughout the whole thing. It’s fun like that. Shoutout to director Ilya Naishuller for giving me hope that there are original action movies out there. What’s next? A sequel? That could really be fun.

Anyway, go see it before it’s out of theaters.

 

Expect a video when it’s out on Blu Ray where I point out all the references.

Using Roller Derby Skaters in Film: A Look at C-Block.

Skating and death.mp4_000003077

It’s been some fun filming… what will be the first three episodes of C-Block (stressful for me, but what can you do?). It’s been in an interesting experience to say the least. But I’ve said that about a million times. But it remains true. But I’m actually going to talk about something. Derby skaters as actors.

First of all, Derby skaters aren’t actors these days. We’re not talking the old school WWE-like derby here (though how awesome would that be these days?). They’re normal folks with a pretty difficult to master skill set… wrecking the shit out of people on skates in a semi-controlled manner. You have to ask to yourself when you’re making a series like this, how will they fare right out of the gate? Well I can tell you that things are mixed.

First off. You have to remember, they’re human (duh) and 9 times out of ten haven’t really done the type of thing they’re asking you to do and never been in this sort of long term situation that is filmmaking. You have to keep that in mind always you’re dealing with non-actors. They’re going to be all pins and needles that first day or two and patience is key.

However, when you get to that point when they’re all settled in, that whole mindset from derby can come right over and incorporate itself into your film… and it doesn’t really matter if there’s skating or not.

This really hit me on the last day when I was working with Lindsey and Kelly when I started writing this. When you’re filming those skating scenes, it’s important to know your marks. It is ALWAYS important to know your marks, but in this case it was imperative. Because you have to remember in derby, if you go out of bounds, you have to come back at the same spot you went out. That crosses right over into the filmmaking. That’s pretty cool.

Then there’s the idea of practice makes perfect. For both, you need to know what the hell you’re doing. It isn’t going to ALWAYS be perfect of course but you have to have a general gameplan… or things are just gonna go nuts. If you’ve ever seen a derby team that hasn’t practiced or 48 Hour Film… you know the drill.

Lastly, there’s a sense of loyalty. When you’re on a team. You know that no one person in more important than the other. And you all step up for one another. United you stand, divided you fall. With the derby players, it takes a lot to be at practice once or twice (or more) a week and get beat up. Then actually skate your bout and get beat up twice as hard.

Same goes for making these films. You have to listen to some jerk and get sucked into his make believe land. It requires the same levels of dedication because everything can’t happen without everyone being where they need to be. Everyone needs to be on same page as everyone else to create a wonderful experience that will exist pretty much forever. Or until the earth isn’t habitable anymore. That means everyone working as a

So basically, if someone wants to act for you, and they do roller derby… it’s a really safe bet they’ll work well with you. But on the other hand. They’re still happen and things could happen that are unpleasant. But it’s worth the risk. I wouldn’t change a thing. Okay, I lied. Maybe a few things. But it’s all good.

Stay tuned. There’s going to be more C-Block coming. It’s gonna be great. And it’s all here.

And like it on facebook and stuff. I talk a little there sometimes. Share it with your friends, people you hate, etc. We’re going to do fun and amazing things.

Waifu Fighting: Dengeki Bunko: Fighting Climax review

Put your weeb hats on. It’s time for Anime. Yoooooah Anime!

DFC_cover

Dengeki Bunko: Fighting Climax if you don’t know already is a fighting game based on the popular anime and manga house that brought you stuff like Sword Art Online. I mention that because it’s the only one I’ve actually watched from this game.

Now here comes the hard part, reviewing it.

As a big fighting game player, I want to just jump right into training mode and vs mode and just start learning everything that I can. Thankfully pretty much all of the motions in this game are half and quarter circles, like most Anime fighters.

I spent a good amount of the time (about 15 hours total) just playing Vs matches with my friend. It’s broken as hell and there’s shit flying all over the place. And best of all, there’s no slowdown. So you’re going to be linking combos together just fine if you ever placed Melty Blood or games like that.

To play, you just pick your character, then you get an assist character. Each has two assists both activated with the assist button or holding forward and pressing assist. There’s some pretty broken combinations in it. I’d go completely into the functions of the game. But I want to keep the article short. I’d be going on forever.

For those of you who play fighters, I used the Marvel/KOF button setup to play this. My fingers thanked me for making the switch.

I didn’t get a chance to try the online much at all, considering there was no one else actually online. But once I do, I’ll give you guys an update. But I suspect it’s actually decent knowing the engine.

The story modes are full of all kinds of fanservice that you’ll love if you’re into Anime. I really got bored with the single player stuff and really wanted to get into the fights. But I’m sure you might like it if you’re into crazy, Kingdom Hearts level writing.

There’s just one problem. We all know that an update Fighting Climax: Ignition is out in arcades in Japan and hitting the PS4 in December. I don’t know if this version will get an update. I asked Sega about it, but I haven’t heard any word back yet. But we’ll see how that goes. It would suck to be a version back.

If you’re into Anime, buy this.
If you’re into Anime Fighters, buy this. It comes with a badass soundtrack to bump loudly while driving through the hood.

Just give it a try. It’s not expensive.

You can pick it up on PS3 or Vita… if you actually own a Vita.

CASTING NOTICE (Electric Boogaloo): Roller Derby Web Series C-Block

Production title: C-Block
Union / Non-Union: Non-Union
Production Type: Independent
Project length: Web Series (30 minutes)
Project format: 16:9 HD

Company website: http://www.wolfenfilms.com

Filming Location: Goshen, Indiana

Director: Joseph Greene
Email: wolfenfilms@gmail.com
Compensation: Yes

Synopsis:
“C-Block” is a web series about a woman and her discovery that roller derby is more than just a great sport sometimes and can be used for my sinister needs. Now she has to figure out this new world and deal with old and new friends and enemies over the course of the 6 episode series.

Character BIOS

[Fay] [GENDER: FEMALE] [AGE: 25-35]

Fay tends to float her way through life. Not really committing to anything or anyone. Has a ban short term memory and always forgets to lock her door. She likes to skate in her free time but has never really thought much about it until the death of a friend. She has to figure out how to balance actually staying alive with managing a team.